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Every time I come into town and go shopping with my sister, I wonder aloud: “I wonder if I’ll run into someone I know?”.  My sis will inevitably answer: “No.” because, for all the times I’ve asked, I’ve yet to run into a single familiar face.  So, there we were yesterday at the local Adonis market, chatting amidst the guavas and quince, when I happened to look up and spot…a familiar face.  ”Hang on!”I said, “I think I see someone I know.”  Then headed off in hot pursuit.

As it turned out, my eyes were not deceiving me.  Wandering the aisles in search of real nutmeg for his famed punch-a-cream was my old buddy Bertram -

Name: Bertram. Claim to Fame: Once, while in St. Lucia visiting family, beat an octopus to death with his bare hands after it attacked his little sister.

Bertram was one of a group of people, dubbed The Hong Kong Movie Nite Crew, I used to hang out with in my pre-Stargate days.  So-called because, every Friday night, we’d gather to watch a Hong Kong double-feature, covering everything from swords-and-sandal epics to gangster shoot-em-ups.  Anyway, he informed me that the former host of HK Movie Nite, my buddy Nigel, was having a little get-together tonight and he needed to find proper nutmeg he could grate for his punch-a-cream, a Trinidanian specialty comprised of eggs, condensed and evaporated milk, lime zest, bitters, plenty of rum, nutmeg, and, of course, love.  In the end, we never did find that nutmeg.

About an hour later, I got a call from Nigel who happened to speak to Bertram, found out I was in town, and insisted I drop by.  I suspected I’d be tired come evening, I didn’t really feel like driving all the way to Laval, it was raining and the weather channel was warning of icy roads – but come 8:30 p.m., I decided “What the hell”, hopped into the rental, punched in the address on my trusty i-phone Maps app, and headed off.  As it turned out, the driving was only slightly terrifying and I only got lost once, taking a wrong turn through an eerily quiet small town – you know, the kind that city folk go to looking for help when their cars break down only to end up being stalked by a family of in-bred cannibals?

Anyway, I eventually found the place.  Nigel was waiting for me outside the front door, watching out for me like an anxious mother on her kid’s first solo car ride.

Name: Nigel, a.k.a. Supa Nige, a.k.a. Supa. Claim to Fame: Back in the day, he would head out to the clubs at 10:00 p.m., close the places down at 3:00 a.m., head to the after-hours club and party there until sunrise, THEN go to work. I don’t think he slept in the some six years I used to hang out with him.

He welcomed me in and, after offered me a drink…

My choices. Nige stocks up on JD like most people do water. He not only enjoys drinking the stuff but swears by its curative effects, using it to remedy everything from sore throats to mystery liver pains.

After that, I went on the grand tour of his sprawling new house, eventually finding my way in his vast downstairs entertainment center boasting enough bass to trigger a grand mal seizure.  And, at the heart of the room, there was his personalized SupaNige carpet…

The Supa Nige symbol of excellence. Accept no substitutes!

More guests began to arrive and the introductions were made.  Also in attendance…

Tommy Europe: former pro football player and present personal trainer, businessman, stuntman, and star of The Last 10 Pounds Bootcamp and Bulging Brides. He also happens to be a friend of our Stargate Stunts Coordinator James “Bam Bam” Bamford. His website: http://www.tommyeurope.tv/

Ron: Resident conspiracy theorist, all-around bad boy, and my future Tokyo wingman.

Missing were many of the former movie nite crew including: Sushi Man, Flipski, Big Daddy, and Champion.  Most of the guests were Nigel’s clubbing buddies, a significant portion of which were busty women in low-cut tops.  Food was served – jerk chicken, natch – and I ended up finding myself in an argument with some crazy lady who accused me of being culturally insensitive when I said “Un huh” after she told me about visiting China and being grossed-out by some guy who blew his nose in a fancy restaurant.  After that, it was downstairs to watch Shotta, a Jamaican gangster movie with dialogue so heavily accented and nigh incomprehensible we ended up viewing it with subtitles.  Every so often, between the copious onscreen bloodlettings, Nigel would pause the film to give us all a Jamaican cultural lesson covering everything from music to politics to quaint island expressions like “pum pum” and “bloodclaat”.  The off-screen action turned out to be equally exciting.  At one point, an overly-enthusiastic Nigel jumped up – a little too high – and ended up bringing one of the mounted speakers crashing down.  Thankfully, the other speakers were more than up to the task of compensating with their brain-numbing booms.

Finally, after almost everyone in the movie had been shot and killed, the final credits rolled.  Nigel informed us that we would not be screening the second part of the double-feature on this night, Third World Gangster, another Jamaican spectacular, then turned on the music and announced that the party had just started.

Which meant it was way past by bed-time.  I thanked Nige, said my goodbyes, resolved to get in touch with Ron to plan our joint Tokyo trip, then headed out for a memorable white-knuckle ride home.  Damn, it’s been a while since I’ve driven in freezing rain.  And, frankly, I don’t really miss it.

Today = lunch with the cousins! And I’m guessing Third World Gangster aint in the cards.

 
 

This morning, my sister brought me the best present yet…

Her name is Misha.  S he’s a one year old pug and, well, she isn’t exactly mine to keep.  Just a little someone my sister is boarding for the week that she decided to bring by.

Younger, sprightlier and, uh, less weighty than my guys.  She hung around for the afternoon and took over the house.

Also drove mom a little crazy while we were out for a couple of hours.  So much so that mom ended up calling my sister to ask her to hurry back.

So adorably pesky.

Did some more writing today and am well into ACT IV.  Should have a rough first draft by middle of next week.  I foresee a fifth act obstacle I don’t quite have an answer for.  But I’m not worried.  These things tend to work themselves out – hopefully well before this goes to camera.

Being back home always stirs memories…

Way back when I only had a mere three dogs, I ended up on the cover of a local magazine. My mom was so thrilled, she had the cover framed.

Ages ago, my parents had their bathroom re-tiled. Early in the process, my mother walked in and complained that the workers were putting the tiles in upside-down. Their boss apologized and had them turn the tiles "rightside up". It wasn't until about a week after they'd finished the job that I took a closer look and realized the workers had it right the first time. NOW, they're upside-down, with all of the columns pointing downward while all of the hanging flowers dangle upwards.

When my sister and I we were kids, this section of hall overlooking the living room (audience seating) was the site of many an impromptu performance. My specialty was magic.

The scene of one of my most harrowing moments. I arrived home from elementary school one afternoon, headed upstairs, and was on my way down the hall to my room when, suddenly, my sister jumped out at me from the raised crawlspace (to the right). It was a instant so singularly terrifying that I still remember how it felt to have my legs collapse beneath me in sheer, overwhelming horror. Bad, little sister! Bad!

Sis has mellowed somewhat.  Also, her gift-giving has improved dramatically…

Another present from sis - assorted chocolates from my new favorite chocolate shop: Le Maitre Chocolatier.

And their alcohol-infused assortment for mom.

Off to Supa Nige’s tonight for one of his elegant soirees (red stripe and dominoes).  Will report back tomorrow – if I make it back by tomorrow.

 
 
25 Декабрь 2009 @ 16:46

Oh, shi-ooooooooooot.  I woke up to discover I’d left my internet tethering on overnight.  I wasn’t actually surfing for those eight hours.  Hope that makes a difference.

First, for those of you who asked about sis’s dogs…

Aspen lounges in his Elvis outfit.

A curious Roxy.

Well, last night was Christmas Eve and, as has been custom, my sister, Andria, hosted dinner…

My sister’s mood = uh…overly festive.

Sis is babysitting Molly for the holidays.  Too many dogs in the house?  I’m the last guy to criticize.

Moving on to dinner…

Christmas tradition #1: the prawn

Christmas tradition #2: scampi

Mom’s homemade super-garlicky eggplant.

Mom’s apple cake.

Boy, this takes me back to my Japan trip. A Mont Blanc.

Let the gift-giving begin…

Clearly someone’s idea of a joke.

Foie gras ice cream. Surprisingly unsuccessful.

Foie gras creme brulee. Haven’t tried it yet but I’m sure it’ll be great.  Or, if not great, then certainly better than the ice cream.

Various pates and terrines.

Assorted savories.

Various peppers ranging from very hot to insanely so.

Macarons!

More macarons.

Keep 'em coming...

Notice how all of my gifts are food-related?  Oh, you did notice.  I fear that it’ll take me all of a week to gain back those three pounds I lost while in Tokyo.

Well, making the rounds today in what feels less a Christmas celebration as it does a farewell tour.  Then, early next week, I’ll be getting together with some old friends: Lori (high school friend), Lawrence (long-time buddy in from London), Cynthia (former co-worker and friend, also in from London), John (high-school friend and perennial party boy/troublemaker), Nigel (aka Supa, former host of our weekly Hong Kong Movie Nite), Bruce (aka Sushi Man, once ate 50 pieces of sushi in one seating).  Should be just like old times.  Except for the part where I have to catch the last late-night bus home from downtown, stagger home, and crawl into bed as the sun is coming up.  Ah, fond memories.

 
 

I’ve finally discovered my “writing zone”, that oh-so-elusive long sought-after artistic sweet spot, a place that marries private serenity and social dynamism, where focus sharpens and creativity blossoms.  I refer, of course, to the Air Canada lounge in the Vancouver Airport where, yesterday, I hit the 35 page mark, and concluded Act III of my script.  At one point, when I was on my feet and pacing, running the dialogue in my head, an elderly traveler uncertainly approached and motioned to my open laptop.  “Are you done?”he inquired.  I wanted to tell him he’d have to wait to watch the episode like everyone else, but went with “No, sorry.” instead.  He shuffled off and eventually found a seat at one of the public computers.  In retrospect, I wonder – had I said yes, would he have finished the last two acts for me?

I was able to get some writing done because, despite my apprehension, it turned out to be a surprisingly smooth travel day.  No endless line-ups.  No frenzied crowds.  I walked in and right up to the counter where I presented my passport and information.  At first, the woman at the check-in informed me that I had missed my flight, then realized she had me on an earlier departure from the same gate and that I was, in fact, hideously early.  Security turned out to be a breeze, the anticipated Christmas travel rush nowhere to be seen, so that by the time I hit the lounge, I had a couple of hours to kill.  And, really, what better way to spend them than finally putting that tricky third act to bed.

We return to the offices on January 12th,  but I’m hoping to get this script finished sooner since my friend Tomomi, in Canada from Japan to visit with family for the holidays, will be swinging by Vancouver for a couple of days.  Back in Tokyo, we dined at Il Ghiottone and Yamada Chikara where we enjoyed two excellent meals so I’m going to have to go with the heavy hitters for her two-night stay on my turf.  I tried to book Lumiere through Opentable but was informed I would have to give them my Visa information to complete the reservation.  Well, yes , I could go through the trouble of doing that – or, I could simply click off Lumiere and click on West and go with an equally great and far more convenient choice.  At a time when the fine-dining scene is hurting, I want to make it a point to help out Vancouver’s local restaurants as much as possible – but if I’m going to have to leave my Visa information every time I want to book a table at Lumiere, I’m going to assume they’re doing just fine and focus on other places.

You know, it’s always nice to be quoted, especially when what you said was mature, intelligent and/or witty.  For example, my memorably astute one-word summation of the lovely Elyse Leveseque, simply “Yowza!”, that found its way into Mike Moody’s “…Eleven Babes Worth Watchin…’” Christmas countdown for TV Squad ( The Twelve Days of Festivus: Eleven babes worth watchin’ – TV Squad).   Mike offers up a great list – to which I would add: Ming-Na, Alaina Huffman, Jennifer Spence, and Julia Benson (whose name continually leads the list of Search Engine Terms  used to find my blog, well ahead of “Stargate”, “Joseph Mallozzi”, and, curiously, “smile now cry later”).

Well, back in Montreal and reunited with mom, sis, the dogs, and he’s-so-ugly-he’s-actually-cute Baby cat.

Felix (mom’s neurotic dog)

Roxy (sweetheart)

Aspen (the loud one)

Baby (the…er…cute one?)

Sis

Mom

And a couple of surprises from sis…

Located in downtown Montreal, run by a young couple who clearly know their chocolate, it’s considered the best chocolate shop by many local foodies.

Dark chocolate foie gras truffles – made to order. Incredibly decadent.

Another Montreal maker of fine chocolates…

An interesting mix of chocolate and alcohol (One apparently not approved by the FDA in the U.S.? Did I hear correctly? If so, that's one of the craziest things I've heard.) . My dark chocolate sake shooter was a winner.

Finally – Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

 
 
23 Декабрь 2009 @ 16:01

Oh, boy.  Here we go.  Just checked my flight status.  Delayed by 15 minutes.

So far.

Ikitakunai!!!

Since I’ll be traveling all day today and it’s unlikely I’ll be able to get around to posting something tonight, I leave you all with an all-mailbag blog entry…

Andrea FWhite writes: “I saw on IMDB that StarGate:Extinction moved from pre-production to production status, is that correct? Any good news for us?”

Answer: Sorry to say that’s incorrect, and I’ve received no news, either good or bad, on the Stargate: Extintion front for quite some time.

Susan the tartan turtle writes: “But how do they remember screeds of data? It would take a person of exceptional memory to store all that info.”

Susan the tartan turtle also writes: “Does your sister have a dog too?”

Answer: Two actually.  A husky named Aspen and a mixed equally big dog named Roxy.

DasNdanger writes: “Just one thing I need to know – when you’re feeling this way, does my snarky overfamiliarity annoy you?”

Answer: Nah.  I consider it one of your more endearing qualities.

Answer: True.  Which is why it’s a long and laborious process.  Sort of like having a meeting with the network and then trying to remember everyone’s names when you get back to the office.

Thornyrose writes: “….. the most undeserved victory in Survivor in the history of their show. absolutely disgusting.”

Answer: Agree.  For the first time since I’ve started watching the show, the best player did NOT win.  Rather than take the high road and pick the most deserving candidate – a guy who outwitted and outplayed them all, the jury members proved themselves petty and spiteful by rewarding an individual who did nothing more than ride his coattails.  What a bunch of cry-baby losers.

Ytimynona writes: “I didn’t have a cute nickname growing up, either: mine was (and still is, unfortunately) Doo.”

Answer: I was YoYo.  Later, The Spider.  Now, J-Motz – but only by Carl Binder.

PoorOldEdgarDerby writes: “CheeChee Bean?”

Answer: Hits a little too close to home, don’t it?

Narelle from Aus writes: “My passport must be with your outline.  Can you let me know when you’ve found them?”

Answer: Still looking.

Anais33 a ecrit: “1) Je ne comprend pas pourquoi il faut attendre jusqu’a Avril pour revoir SGU sur les écrans? Croyez vous que cette second partie de la saison 1 aura de meilleurs audiences? 2) Quels fromage préférez vous? que pensez vous du camembert?”

Answer: 1) C’est la decision du diffuseur.  2) Je prefere les fromages moelleux.

Translation: 1) The decision to air in April was a network call.  2) I prefer soft cheeses.

Simon writes: “Question that follows the same as the above. How many scenes go into each act of an SG script?”

Answer: The scene counts vary depending on the type of story your telling.  On average, however, I’d say about 5 beats (scenes) per act.

Joebags writes: “Are we every going to discover why certain planets were selected for gates? Why there are no DHD’s? How are these gates supposed to work and interact with each other? What is Destiny’s purpose? Make sure the gates work? Why? For whom? Destiny is huge, so what was its crew like? What happened to them?”

Answers: Planets were selected on the basis of their ability to sustain life.  No DHD’s because the Ancients planned to use remote DHD’s instead.  Destiny’s purpose was to explore the planets seeded by the advance seeder ships.  Destiny never had a crew.  The Ancients ascended before they could board it.

Eric.Stewart writes: “Between the very long Camille reunion who goes see her parents for 3 sec 1/2, Scott’s ex-girlfriend who’s a go-go dancer, the very unoriginal gun planted in an air vent, 1 fake fight with Telford, 1 embarrassing one with Rush…”

Answer: Camille saw her parents for all of 3.5 seconds because, as hinted, she is estranged from them.  Also, she didn’t reveal who she was, instead posing as a friend to relay some information.  Scott’s ex-girlfriend is a stripper, not a go-go dancer.  I know a couple of go-go dancers who’d have your head for that. The “unoriginal gun planted in the air vent” was intended to be discovered – thus the less-than-genius hiding place.  As for the fight scenes – well, they were both fake.  This is t.v. after all.  Less choreographed to be sure, but certainly more realistic than we’ve done in the past.

Lex Brown writes: “Also can destiny self repair itself like asgard ships can asuming that they fly into another sun and power up some more and start auto repairs.”

Answer: I’d say that is a pretty fair assumption.

Annie from Freemantle writes: “Hey Joe..ever experienced a Southern Hemisphere Christmas?”

Answer:  I haven’t.  But it sounds like something I could get used to.

maggiemayday writes: “Hey, I’m catching up… went to Vegas last minute. Miss me?”

Answer: Of course.  I sent the police by your place to check up on you.

dasNdanger writes: “Do you have a male Japanese tutor?”

Answer: Oh, Das.  Why would I want to do that?

Chris U writes: “

I just got finished taking an online market research study which, after the initial catagorizing questions of which networks and genre of shows I enjoy, became very heavily SGU related. [...]  As I was answering many of the questions I thought more than once that these questions, in the wrong hands, could make for some very interesting network notes to the writers and producers.”

Answer: What’s interesting is that these research studies can yield surprising results – often the opposite of online opinion with regard to creative direction and characters in particular.  I think you have to take both with a grain of salt.

Kevin writes: “The Destiny crew is trying desperately to figure out how to access the main computer. [...] But seriously…why couldn’t they just look it up?”

Answer: Alas, if it was that simple, they would have done it already.

Desti(N/A)tio(N/A)lly writes: “Is every actor that plays a person aboard Destiny accounted for such as in the scenes where they show the group of people meeting in the gate room, or do they bring in different actors for each group scene?”

Answer: We try to maintain consistency with our background players in particular, coordinating with our extras casting director and keeping a tally of all speaking characters introduced to date.

Dasndanger writes: “Anyhoo – guess what I learned today? Well, see…my favorite pasta sauce is puttanesca, and you know what ‘alla puttanesca’ means? It means ‘in the style of a prostitute’. Figgers. :P Of course, now I can’t wait to go out for a nice Italian dinner, just so I can order me up some whore’s spaghetti!”

Answer: I believe the culinary term is “whore-getti”.

Pol writes: “Check it out, I made a gingerbread version of the USS George Hammond.”

Answer: Wow!  And – Tasty-looking!

 
 

Sigh.  I hate being the bearer of bad news, especially when the individual I’m bearing the news to already had a sneaking suspicion.  Like cats and certain fans, mothers possess a sixth sense that makes it near impossible to surprise them.  As a result, potentially earth-shattering revelations are met with little more than an “I’m not surprised” or “I had a feeling” or, best of all: “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”.  Should be an interesting Christmas and, by interesting, I do not mean “interesting” as in “discover a crashed alien ship” interesting but more “being discovered by aliens while nosing around their crashed alien ship” interesting.

Hey, I was apparently kidding when I said I’d finished my Christmas shopping.  Turned out I had a few more people to buy for – most important of all, myself.  I picked up a pair of stylish black winter boots I will sport all of ten days a year – unless Montreal experiences a staggering warm spell between and tomorrow’s flight.  I also swung by Toys R Us and snapped some pics of some of the more memorable selections for the kids on YOUR Christmas list…

Aw, man, how cool is this? A remote-controlled tarantula. Think of the fun and heart attacks to be had with this adorable little critter. "Hey, grandma, I think there's something on your shawl..."

Yep, it's always best to set realistic goals for your children as you prepare them for their future careers.

"Hey, son, why don't you go play out front - specifically around the rhododendrons."

Yessiree, growing up there were three things my friends and I used to love to play: cops and robbers, cowboys and indians, and Westminster Dog Show.

The new dog-sitter came by the house today to get acquainted with the dogs, run through the security and entertainment systems, and potentially scope the place in advance of the rest of her gang coming in to clean it out.  I left her a rundown on the dogs complete with unique personality quirks like: “Maximus won’t come in when called meaning he’s either deaf or very stubborn and pretending to be deaf” or “Jelly hates little people”. Boy, is she going to have her hands full with Brie.

More writing – actually, rewriting – on the script today and I’m actually beginning to like what I’ve got so far. 30 pages in and that really tricky scene fast approaches.

Travel day tomorrow so you can expect an early blog entry.  Questions, questions, questions, and answers.

Oh, almost forgot!  Today’s entry is dedicated to blog regular Ytimynona.  Happy Birthday!

 
 

Osoko natte sumimasen!  I was skyping with sis, discussing Christmas gifts and getting her up to speed on recent (and not-so-recent) developments.

Hey, speaking of Christmas gifts – I went shopping today, braving the crowds to drop off mini-cupcakes and ice wine for friends, then picking up presents for everyone else on my Christmas list.  Done and done.  I spent some fifteen minutes expertly wrapping gifts and voila -

Note the artistry, the exquisite folds, the deft use of wax tape.  If all else fails, I could probably just move to Tokyo and get a job as a professional gift-wrapper at one of the high-end department stores.

In order to prepare for my future professional gift-wrapping career, I had my first one hour session with my new Japanese tutor #1, Tomo, this evening.  I know I’m making progress because I can now make people laugh in Japanese.  Of course, I’m assuming she was laughing with me rather than at me.  By the time I make my return trip to Tokyo, I’ll be as flawlessly fluent as those spectacle-sporting giant gun-toting anime characters I’ve come to know and love.

Hey, thanks to the gang at SFSignal.com for giving me the heads up on this site – http://www.sffmeta.com/home – a site that cross-references official online reviews of different works in the fields of Fantasy, Horror, and Science Fiction, generates ratings from each, then generates an average score for each book.  Categories include: low and high-scoring titles for 2007 and 2008, low and high-scoring titles over the last 90 days, and, most interestingly, All-Time High and Low-Scoring Titles.  Leading the pack in the All-Time High-Scoring titles is our friend Matthew Woodring Stover with the book 3 of his Acts of Caine series: Caine Black Knife.  Another friend, author Joe Abercrombie, sits in the number five spot with Last Argument of Kings, the third book of his First Law series.  And another friend of ours, editor Lou Anders, claims the #12 slot with Fast-Forward 2.

Tried out that new new Korean barbecue restaurant on West 4th tonight, one of those places my buddy Carl would hate because going there would require him to cook his own food.  We had short ribs, spicy chicken, beef, pork, pork belly, and assorted side dishes.  All excellent.

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Provided I didn’t make myself ill by improperly grilling the chicken and/or pork, I’m giving this place two thumbs up.

Let me conclude today’s entry with a picture of my pug Jelly.  Seriously.  I should be producing my own dog calendars.  This pose has July written all over it…

Ready to hit the beach.

 
 

So I received my new, replacement credit card the other day.  The one with the chip.  This time, I made a point of immediately signing the back and memorizing the pin number before promptly misplacing it.  I spent about an hour looking for the damn thing and eventually discovered it in the side pocket of my sweat pants.  No idea how it got there.  Oh, that outline I couldn’t find before leaving for my Tokyo trip?  Whereabouts still unknown.  However, I do vaguely recall looking for an out-of-the-way place to hide it just in case my place was broken into while I was out for the day.  Unlike some people I know, I have different passwords for different accounts, thus ensuring better overall security and at least two instances a day in which I have to go through the trouble of re-setting the passwords I’ve forgotten.  You know how some mother’s had cute nicknames for their kids growing up?  Like Princess or Junebug or Speedy or Cheechee Bean?  Guess what my mom used to call me.  The Absent-Minded Professor.  A bit of a mouthful but, apparently, apropos.  My father, on the other hand, was far more diplomatic, eschewing the nicknames for the occasional muttered: “He’d forget his head if it wasn’t screwed on.”  All this to say, do not depend on me to watch your stuff or drop something off for your or babysit your kid.  There’s a better than average chance I’ll lose whatever it is you’re entrusting me with.

Wha-wha-wha?!  December 20th?  Already?  But I haven’t finished my Christmas shopping yet!  This means I’m going to have to brave the holiday crowds and, really, next to kiwis and crocs, there’s nothing I hate more than having to join the masses of shiftless procrastinators and last-minute scramblers.  Like myself.  I refuse to hit any of the major shopping malls after last year’s debacle in which I drove into an underground parking lot, followed the overly optimistic “MORE PARKING!” signs to its lowest levels, drove around for fifteen minutes looking for a spot, then got fed up and went to leave – only to end up in a traffic jam of idling vehicles seeking to escape as well.  I spent almost two hours that afternoon NOT shopping.  I refuse to do it again.  Instead, I’ll only be shopping at easily accessible shops like the nearby hardware store, Swedish bakery, or McDonalds.  Hope my sis enjoys her malt loaf.

Mailbag:

duneknight writes: “yeah Joe, would it kill you to talk about a movie that just got released?”

Answer: I’ve got nothing to say on the subject.  Haven’t seen it.

susanthetartanturtle writes: “How is data transferred back to Earth from Destiny?”

Answer: Crewmembers use the stones to visit Earth where they are debriefed by Homeworld Command.

Thornyrose writes: “And Pain sounds deliciosuly grusome.”

Answer: Oh a couple of scenes come to mind.

Arctic Goddess writes: “1) That sweet potato that Greer ate in “Justice”. What was it really? It looked almost like playdoh. But I know you wouldn’t feed the actors playdoh.

2) If Destiny is supposed to seed the galaxies with star gates, wouldn’t it be kind of like the railroad where you can’t use a train to get further west until the railroad is actually built? In other words, why would the Destiny be traveling around to planets it’s already been to and seeded if it’s dropping Star gates?”

Answers: 1) I believe it was an actual sweet potato with purple food dye.

2) The Destiny isn’t seeding the galaxies with stargates.  It’s following the seeder ships that have done so.

PG15 writes: “Nice! Thank goodness I’ve saved the snippets of info you’ve revealed about episode 17.

So now the question is, which one is it? Is it one of the first 5 that are already under way?”

Answer: It’ll fall somewhere between the sixth and tenth slot.

Moe writes: “

1. How much in advance do you write? Say you are at episode 2. How many further episodes are completely planned out at such a point?

2. Do you always have a plan/plot for an entire season, or do you make it up as you go along?

3. Do you have complete freedom in what you write, or does anyone (e.g. the network) give some guidelines?

4. You have more than one writer. How do you decide who writes which part? Do you just brainstorm and whoever has the best idea writes the script?

5. Are all the dialoges completely written out or do the actors have some creative room while acting? How much of a dialog comes from an actor rather than a writer?

6. Now that the atlantis base is on earth, does this mean I get to rent an apartment there?”

Answers: 1. It really depends on how fast the other writers write.  All five of us headed off with scripts in November (episodes #1 – 5).  Whoever is done first starts on the next script.

2. We have a general idea of where we’re going and where we want to end up.

3. Writing is a communal exercise.  We, the writing team, come up with the story ideas and write the scripts, but the network provides input at various stages of pre-production, production, and post-production.

4. Usually, the person who comes up with the story idea writes the script.  Otherwise, it’s a matter of preference.  The individual writers script the stories that appeal to them.

5. Yes, all of the dialogue is scripted.  On occasion, an actor may request a line change or may even improvise a line here or there but, for the most part, it’s all written beforehand.

6. Sure, but the rent is pricey.

Hugh writes: “Why do they make the breaks so long? I understand you can’t keep churning out episodes but with a break as long as 4 months the tension of the cliffhanger with have disappeard and some people (casual watchers) might forget about show and not tune in every week.”

Answer: Alas, not my call.  That’s a network decision.  I believe it’s part of their strategy to have all-year original programming.

Ravenfur writes: “1) How long is a standard 1 hour television script normally? Is there a standard number of pages, or does it change with every script?
2) How many times do you see an episode before it is deemed finished and sent to TV?”

Answer: 1) Depends on the show.  I’d say, on average, about 50 pages.  2) Maybe 5-6 times.

 
 

Author Lawrence Watt-Evans

Two big thank you’s to kick off today’s entry.  First a big thank you to Lawrence Watt-Evans, author of The Misenchanted Sword, December’s Book of the Month Club pick, for kindly taking the time to drop by and field our questions.  Second, an equally big thank you to the nameless blog regular who sent me a copy of The Misenchanted Sword sometime last year, bringing the book to my attention and, ultimately, introducing me to what turned out to be an immensely enjoyable read.

Oh, and today’s entry is dedicated to Sheryl’s twins.  Happy Birthday!  And Happy Birthday!

Now, over to Lawrence Watt-Evans…

Tammy Dixon writes: “For Lawrence Watt-Evans: I enjoyed “The Misenchanted Sword”. It was a fun read and I eagerly awaited reading about the “clause” for the old wizard’s spell.

My two questions for you are: Did you have any fencing experience when you wrote Valder’s fight scenes?”

LWE: Not really.  I had one fencing lesson in college, and that was it.

However, I’ve read extensively on the manufacture and use of swords, and I own an 18th-century Persian blade that I used to act out some scenes and make sure they made sense.

“Can you clarify the differences between Sorcery, Witchcraft and Wizardry in your book? I understand that Sorcerers, in this story, were associated with demons but I’m unclear on Witchcraft/Wizardry because they didn’t seem so benign either.”

LWE: It’s not a matter of whether they’re benign or malign.  The world of Ethshar has several different varieties of magic, and they don’t generally work well together.  Some of this gets explained in later books in the series; I confess I don’t remember exactly what’s in which book.

They’re largely distinguished by where they get their power.

Sorcery is powered by talismans — magical energy trapped in specific objects — and is rather mysterious to most Ethsharites, as it was largely a Northern thing.

Witchcraft is powered by the user’s own body — witches can die of exhaustion if they try to cast too powerful a spell, and it follows the laws of conservation of energy, so it’s limited in what it can do as far as sheer power goes, but it can be very subtle.

Wizardry uses charged symbols to draw on the raw chaos that underlies reality, so it doesn’t follow any rational laws — a tiny cause can have a gigantic effect, and there’s virtually limitless power available, but it can go wrong in thousands of ways.  The slightest error in a spell can be disastrous, but it’s so useful when it works that people take the risks anyway.

Other major forms of magic include theurgy, which calls on the gods for help, and demonology, which involves bargaining with demons, but Ethshar’s gods and demons aren’t quite the traditional sort.  Minor schools of magic include herbalism (power from plants) and ritual dance (power from shared emotion) and science (power from knowledge).

In later books there’s also warlockry, which draws on a mysterious power source in the mountains of Aldagmor.

“Thank you, for participating in this Q & A!”

LWE: You’re welcome!

AvidReader writes: “Can you tell us a little about your experience with The Spriggan Mirror and The Vondish Ambassador that were published online before making their way to bookstores.  What were your reasons for doing so?  Was the experience a positive one?  Did it meet your expectations?  If so, what were your expectations?  And would you consider continuing publishing in this manner?”

LWE: Ah, this is complicated, and I suspect most readers don’t want all the details, so forgive me if I abbreviate it somewhat.  It’s going to be a very long answer even in abbreviated form; some readers may want to skip ahead.

The Ethshar series was fairly successful for several years, but sales gradually declined, and after eight novels my publisher, Tor Books, decided they didn’t want the ninth one after all — my other fantasy novels sold significantly better for them than Night of Madness and Ithanalin’s Restoration did, so they wanted more of those and not Ethshar.

They had actually signed a contract for the ninth one, The Spriggan Mirror, but asked me to cancel it, and I agreed — mostly because they said that while they would pay me for it, as the contract required, they didn’t intend to publish it.  So that ended the series as far as the big New York publishers were concerned.

But I’d written a few chapters before the cancellation, and I had fans asking for more Ethshar, so in April 2005 I decided to try an experiment.  I announced I was posting the first chapter on the web, and would post another chapter for every hundred dollars readers sent me.

Honestly, what I expected to happen was that I would get maybe $200 or so, and that would be the end of it — if anyone asked why I wasn’t writing any more Ethshar novels, I would just point out that I’d tried going directly to readers and it hadn’t worked.

But what did happen was that it did work.  Money came in very quickly, and kept coming, so I found myself committed to writing the novel and posting it to the web at one chapter a week.  Six months later it was done, all twenty-eight chapters, and I sold the finished novel to Wildside Press.  Wildside couldn’t afford to pay me enough to write a new novel, but when I’d written this one anyway, they were delighted to publish it.

It was fun — kind of exhausting, keeping up the weekly schedule, but fun.  I decided to try again.  $100 per chapter was way too little for the amount of work involved, though; I wouldn’t have set it that low if I’d expected it to succeed.  So when I did it a second time, with The Vondish Ambassador, I raised the price to $250 per chapter.  Which still worked, but seemed to be about the limit, as at that price it sometimes took more than a week to pay for each chapter.

I did try a third time.  This time I wanted to see whether it would work with something other than Ethshar, so last year I started a serial of Realms of Light, a sequel to my 1989 science fiction detective novel Nightside City.

That didn’t go over so well.  I’ve written the whole thing, twenty chapters, but only the first twelve have been posted.  It’s taking a month or two to pay for each chapter.  If you want to check it out, it’s at http://www.watt-evans.com/realmsoflight0.html .

When that’s finished, if it ever is, I plan to try another Ethshar story, since those seem to work better.  I’m hoping to launch The Final Calling some time in 2010.

Narelle from Aus writes: “ My question for Lawrence Watt-Evans. You made reference to dates such as the year 5000, so I was wondering whether this was a world completely apart from our reality or was it set in a more dystopian future of this reality?”

LWE: In other stories in the series it’s explained that the years are counting from when the gods first taught human beings to talk — instead of 2009 AD, the form is Y.S. 5201, for “the Year of Speech 5201.”

KellyK : “Questions for the author:

1.     As Joe pointed out, this book was atypical of most fantasy novels.  I was wondering if you consider yourself a fan of the genre and, if yes, which authors or titles in particular?”

LWE: Oh, I’m a huge fan of fantasy, though a picky one.  My favorite author, bar none, is Terry Pratchett — I’ve written an entire book about the Discworld series.  I also love L. Sprague de Camp’s fantasy, and Lord Dunsany’s — I’d recommend The Incompleat Enchanter and The Unbeheaded King series from de Camp, and The Charwoman’s Shadow and The Gods of Pegana from Dunsany.  Clark Ashton Smith’s short stories, Robert E. Howard’s Conan, Fritz Leiber’s Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser, George Macdonald’s The Princess and the Goblin — there’s lots of great fantasy out there.  It just isn’t the stuff that most people seem to read.

“2.     What kind of reception did The Misenchanted Sword receive on its publication?  What was your reaction?  And how does it feel knowing that your book has attained an almost cult-like status among readers?”

LWE: It was an immediate hit, which was wonderful.  It never quite broke out onto the mainstream bestseller lists or anything, but it sold well and got good reviews.  It had gotten positive reactions starting right from the acceptance letter from Lester del Rey — he spent a page pointing out everything I’d done wrong, how I’d kept some of the action off-stage, how the ending violated traditional rules, and so on, and then said, “But somehow it all works anyway, so I’ll take it.”

I love knowing that something I did has so many fans.  It’s one of the great pleasures of being a writer, hearing from people who have enjoyed my work, and with The Misenchanted Sword I heard that a lot.

The only drawback is that I wish I could do it more often.  The only book I’ve written since that came close to receiving so favorable a reception was Dragon Weather.

“3.     Did you ever consider the possibility of a Misenchanted Sword movie?  If so, who would you cast as Valder?”

LWE: I’d love to see it made into a movie, but that’s never up to the writer; it’s a matter of a movie producer taking an interest, and so far that hasn’t happened.  As for casting, I don’t know — at one time I might have suggested Russell Crowe, but I don’t think so anymore.

Bridjess writes: “Afew q’s for Lawrence Watt-Evans:

When Valder was going round Ethshar of the Spices looking for a way out of his curse, I couldn’t stop thinking about how he had all that money he had saved and didn’t fix his eyesight, surely even if he was trying to kill himself good eyesight would have helped and even been nice, or was it that you knew he’d have them fixed at some point later and left it for a while?”

LWE: To be honest, I don’t remember anymore what I was thinking when I wrote that part.  I agree that getting his eyesight fixed would make sense; maybe he didn’t realize it could be done, or just didn’t think it was worth the trouble.

TimC. writes: “A great book.  Some questions for Lawrence Watt-Evans:

Was it always your intention to keep the story focused on Valder to the point where big picture elements like the war were relegated to the background?  I thought it was a bold narrative decision that worked very well even though it left me very curious about some of the developments only mentioned in passing (like those demons).  While you were writing, were you ever tempted to stray off course and get into the meat of these backstory elements?”

LWE: Oh, the Great War and all the rest was always just background for Valder’s story.  I tend to be a small-focus writer, interested in individuals rather than big sweeping sagas.  This drives my agent crazy sometimes, as the big sweeping sagas are easier to sell, but it’s what I want to do.

I wasn’t really tempted to explain any of the background; I have it all worked out, I know how it all works, but I also knew that it wasn’t part of this particular story.

“You’ve had stories and books published in the realms of fantasy, science fiction AND horror.  Do you have a preference?  If so, would you mind explaining what draws you to that genre?”

LWE: I prefer fantasy; I like the freedom to fit the world to the story.  I usually like to be lighter in tone than horror allows, and science fiction can be limited by the need to keep the science and technology consistent with itself and with reality.

But they’re all fun.

Sparrow_hawk writes: “ Questions and comments for Lawrence Watt-Evans:

Thanks for stopping by to answer questions for us. I realize that you wrote The Misenchanted Sword more than twenty years ago, so if you don’t have answers to my questions I completely understand. After all, I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast most days.

1.     I really enjoyed the book! How did you come up with the idea of the sword and its effects? At first the whole thing seemed comical but as time went on the consequences of the “misenchantment” took a more serious turn. The idea of aging without being able to die is pretty grim.”

LWE: This is going to sound stupid, but the idea for the sword came to me in a dream.  Really truly, it did — I still have (somewhere) the slip of paper with the note I wrote myself that morning, so I wouldn’t forget it.

I don’t usually get my story ideas that way, but I did for this one.

Another odd thing is, that original note was only about the sword, and in fact I came up with, and discarded, two other stories about it before settling on the one I actually wrote.

“2. I loved the war being resolved off-stage, as it were. I thought it was a very unorthodox, but very effective, way to shift the focus away from the grand, historical scale and into the personal. If that makes sense…”

LWE: Thanks.

“3. I’m probably being a bit dense and I hate having to ask someone to explain a joke but, since the hermit botched the Spell of True Ownership can Valder eventually get rid of Wirikidor? Not that he would want to now that he has eternal youth to go with his virtual immortality.”

LWE: No, there’s no way out while he’s alive; it’s because the spell was botched that there’s a limit on how many times he can use the sword.

Airelle writes: “I wondered what became of the wizard who enchanted the sword, and was thrilled that Valder met up with Iridith, and they lived happily ever after.. Could he and Iridith have kids, would they inherit the youth spell? just wondering.. This was a nice easy read, and I enjoyed it. thank you.”

LWE: No, their kids wouldn’t inherit the youth spell.  That’s an interesting idea, though.  That could have some story possibilities.

PaleRider17 writes: “I notice a nice mix of original and tie-in works in your bibliography.  What would you say are the pros and cons of writing tie-in novels?  Would you say they give you more creative freedom since the world and its characters are pre-established, or does it handcuff you because of the publisher’s “You’re welcome to play in our sandbox, but make sure you put the toys back where you found them when you’re done.” mentality?  Is there a particular tie-in novel you’re most proud of?  Thank you.”

LWE: Tie-ins are fun because I don’t need to make everything from scratch — part of the work’s been done for me.  Also, I get to play with characters and settings I would never have thought of on my own.

And — okay, this is probably going to sound bad, so bear with me — I don’t feel as if I need to have everything make sense.

When I’m creating my own worlds, I try very hard to make everything logically consistent; if it doesn’t make sense to me, that’s a constant distraction, something I feel I need to fix.  If I’m writing, say, a Star Trek novel, though, I don’t need to worry about that; I can just say, “Well, that’s how it is in the Star Trek universe, we’ve seen it, and if it doesn’t make sense that’s not my problem.”  So I can get away with sloppy science and world-building that would drive me nuts if I’d done it myself.

That’s oddly freeing.

Yes, there are other elements that aren’t freeing at all — I can’t change things that are already established in the original work, no matter how much it might improve my story — but that just makes it a challenge.

And the whole “put everything back the way I found it” angle is limiting, but it also means I don’t need to worry too much about giving my characters a lot of emotional development or complexity, because it’s all going back to square one anyway when I’m done.

Writing tie-ins is different from writing my own work, but I’d be hard put to say whether it’s really harder or easier on balance.  It’s fun, but it feels shallower, somehow.  And of course, while the up-front money can be good, I don’t wind up owning anything, so from a business point of view it’s a mixed bag, as well.

As for which I’m proudest of, I think my Mars Attacks! novel, Martian Deathtrap, was the most fun, as the whole point was to be over the top, but the one that I think was probably my best was Predator:  Concrete Jungle.  It was nominally a novelization of Mark Verheiden’s comic book mini-series, but the movie people demanded so many changes, and I had to add so much stuff to suit them, that it’s about as much mine as Mark’s, and I’m pleased with how it came out.

And thank you all for giving me some entertaining questions!

– Lawrence

Tagged: Lawrence Watt-Evans, The Misenchanted Sword
 
 

To mark our last day in the office, we watched not one but TWO mixes – a Day 2 mix of Pain, and a Day 1 mix of Subversion.  You know what I really love?  The cute that plays over the previously on segment.  Love.  It.  Joel Goldsmith did his usual spectacular job and I was particularly impressed with the moody and unsettling score for Pain.  It really ratchets up the tension.  And, speaking of tension, what happens to Volker…it’s enough to give me nightmares.  Actor Patrick Gilmore’s performance was terrific – in a creepy, frisson-inducing way.  Also – it’s the little things.  While you’re watching Pain, make a point of noting Wray’s wardrobe.  Subversion, meanwhile, is a real winner: Jack, Daniel, Rush in deep, the Young-Telford showdown, and a few surprises including a guest spot but franchise fave and past blog guest Mike Dopud.

I worked on those first eighteen pages of my script and, after several re-reads and tweaks, I’ve gone from “hate” to “mere dislike”.  I hope that further rewrites will improve my opinion to “firm ambivalence” before I leave for Montreal.  In the meantime, I’ve forged ahead with the next scene – a toughie – and hope to be out of Act II by the weekend.  Hopefully inspiration strikes and I can roll through Act III in time for my Montreal departure next week.

Hey, speaking of inspiration, I just did an impromptu liquor cabinet count.  90+ bottles ranging from cloying root beer schnapps to throat-stripping grappa!  Mighty impressive for someone who isn’t much of a drinker.  A potential new hobby?

I feel inadequate as an international emailer.  My friend Akemi has been sending me emails from Tokyo studded with the most elaborate of emoticons – flying pigs, dancing teeth, wizards engaged in resplendent duels – and all I’ve got in my arsenal are:  :-), :-( , and ;-) .  How mortifying.  I’m practically a Luddite in comparison.

Today’s entry is dedicated to blog regular Suziesbluefeather and Karen Ford.  Happy Birthdays!

Sukoshi mailbag:

Crayonbaby writes: “Assault Girls II? Now I have to look this up because I’ve never heard of this movie. And I probably don’t ever want to hear of this movie, right?”

Answer: Oh, you do.  Trust me.  The trailer is available on Youtube.

Cody writes: “Was writing easier with SG1 or SGA? Why does being angry help?…. it usually slows me down because I’m too pissed to concentrate.”

Answer: Actually, I do some of my best writing when I’m angry.  Alas, I’m not angry enough.  As for the first question – I recall struggling when I was writing for SG-1 and Atlantis, though maybe not quite as hard.

Beaudacious writes: “Hey Joe… Any chance we’ll get any detail’s on Destiny. Like size , number of weapons.A technical schematic? Just a curious tech-head.”

Answer: We’ll be filling in the details as the series progresses, but nothing in the way of publishing a manual or online reference guide.  Which really wouldn’t be a bad idea.  So long as I didn’t have to do it.

PG15 writes: “1. Ok, so you told us that, when your season finale got expanded to 2 episodes, the concept for episode 17 was scrapped to make room for it. Will that episode 17 show up in Season 2 now?

2. Since you guys have the finale figured out, will you guys start planning how to get there from here on out? I.e. plan a series-long arc? Or will you guys keep the middle of the show fairly blank so you can fill it up with spur-of-the-moment inspirations?”

Answers: 1. Yes.  A drastically modified form of the story will figure into the first half of season two.

2. Let’s just say we know where we’re going and leave it at that.

Black Panther writes: “I don’t remember if this has been asked before or not, but will Stargate Extinction be what would have been the premiere of season 6 or is it something else you’ve come up with as a series finale?”

Answer: Extinction is a fleshed out version of what would have been the season six opening two-parter.

Dasndanger writes: “Why not try some other places to eat around the world? Paris? London? Rome? Istanbul?”

Answer: That’s like asking me to date other women when I’m deeply committed to someone else.  Tsk tsk tsk.

Dasndanger also writes: “More than once you have expressed a desire to have all of the Atlantis series explained away as a dream – the ‘it never really happened’ scenario. Do you really hate it that much?”

Answer: I believe it was a joke I made twice regarding the same set-up.  I’m particularly fond of the last two seasons of the show.

Shirt ‘n Tie writes: “Finally, how is your Mom? Is she recovered from her op?”

Answer: She’s fine but may have to go in for another eye operation.  She’s not enthused.

Deni writes: “Hey, I KNOW I’m a pain in the ass with this, but whatever happened to Joel’s Q&A?”

Answer: No idea.  I just send out the questions and let the guest turn their around at his or her leisure.  Last time Joel checked in, he assured me his responses were on their way.  Of course, that was six months ago…

Michelle writes: “If you want to see what’s slowing down your MacBook, open a Finder window, go to Applications, then Utilities, and start up “Activity Monitor”. It will show you all the applications that are running, sorted by CPU usage. Sometimes Firefox gets very hoggy and has to be restarted. Other times it’s anti-virus software running in the background that goes crazy. You can quit the apps from the Activity Monitor, then restart as necessary. Or just tell us what you see.”

Answer: Thanks, tech wiz.  Yep, Firefox and Word were major hogs.  Thanks.

Swedish Guy writes: “Cold, you say. How cold is Vancouver in December? Here in Sweden we’ve had a bloody freezing -25 degrees celsius today. How was it over there? Hotter? Colder?”

Answer: Okay, not that cold.  But I still reserve the right to complain.  And welcome to the blog.

dodaida writes: “1) What was the very first scene you were filming on SGU?
2) What the crew did with that “time” alien creatures, they had captured on the Jungle planet? Did they kill them because of cure or meat? I wish they have them as a pets…
3) Are you going to post some “behind the scene” photos from Justice? Especially from the desert planet? Where were these scenes filmed?”

Answer: 1) Don’t recall.  It may have been the shipboard Eli-Rush scenes from Air I.

2) Yeah, they were adorable but, no, they killed them and made use of their medicinal properties.

3) Sorry, no.  I wasn’t on location for this shoot.

SSJPabs writes: “When Destiny is dialing planets, where are they? Just somewhere in space they can reach gates or do they emerge in a single solar system that has multiple gates? Some people got an impression that they dialed the gate to a planet they were orbiting which seems incorrect.”

Answer: No, if the ship was actually orbiting the planet, they’d take the shuttle down.

Bailey writes: “Reading about your script woes and post-Japan ennui makes me wonder if you’d just like to chuck it all and head out on a jet plane somewhere to live a new life – mysterious recluse or international playboy?”

Answer: Uh, if I had a choice I’d go with B.  Do you have a jet I could borrow?

 
 

Lately, I’ve been reuniting with old friends, occasionally quite by accident.  For instance, yesterday I forgot my phone in the office and when I came back for it, discovered I’d missed a call.  I didn’t recognize the number on the  all display and curiosity got the best of me, so I called back.  ”Hi,”I said to the woman who answered the phone.  ”I think I just missed a call from this number.”  A couple of seconds of sustained silence and then an incredulous: “Joe?”.  As it turned out, I was speaking to fellow pug owner and jet-setting actress Josephine Jacob who I hadn’t spoken to in years and had dialed me, quite by accident, during a conversation with another friend.  She was back in Vancouver for the holidays so we decided to meet for coffee (actually tea, and chamomile for me – it reminds me of Tokyo) and catch up.

The lovely Josephine Jacob

A nice, relaxing afternoon chat – followed by several hours of frustration on the script and email front.  For some reason, I’m suddenly unable to send emails from my yahoo account.  Scratch that.  I can send “some” emails.  Some others, on the other hand, I can’t.  And there seems to be no rhyme or reason to which ones actually make it out!  Adding insult to injury, my brand new MacBook is given to bouts of unbearable sluggishness.  Yes, as the cold winter days wear on, I’m making the shift from Happy Joe to Angry Joe.  Don’t tell me you hadn’t noticed?

So, I’m in a rotten mood.  And when I’m in a rotten mood, there are two things I excel at: scriptwriting and answering mailbag questions.  So, on to the mailbag…

Paloosa writes: “But wait! Series finale? Isn’t that putting the cart before the horse, or the egg and chicken together?”

Answer: Cart?  Horse?  Egg?  Chicken?  What the heck is going on?  Well, in answer to your questions – no on the entire barnyard.  We simply know where we’re going to end up whenever the series comes to its conclusion.  And, hopefully, that won’t be for a while.

Michael writes: “Recently, Mr. Cooper talked about those aliens and how they will look. Was there a temptation to just make them human or was it always in the cards to make them…alien-y?”

Answer: While it made sense for our heroes to encounter human alien civilizations in the Milky Way and Pegasus Galaxy, it didn’t make sense for them to encounter them in this new galaxy.  As a result, the plan was to make them truly alien.  And it goes without saying that they won’t speak English.  To make them truly far out, the aliens will be speaking dutch.

Deni writes: “Hi Joe! What happens now that you’ve re-read the 18 pages you have and hate them? Do you start over or just tweak what you have?”

Answer: I’ll go over what I have, rewrite and polish what I think works, toss out what doesn’t and start again.  Eventually, I’ll get a rhythm going and I’ll be able to ride that out to the script’s conclusion.  Come the top of the fifth act, it’s smooooooooooooooth sailing.

duneknight writes: “thats why Atlantis ended so early, its because you guys thought of the ending early on…”

Answer: Untrue.  Enemy at the Gate was just another episode that ended up being the series finale.  It was never intended to be the show’s final episode.  If we had known the show was about to end, we’d have ended it with an idea I had long ago: The wraith attack Atlantis, the city is destroyed, our heroes are killed and then…Sheppard, McKay, Teyla, and Ford wake up on the mist planet from season one’s Home and realize they just hallucinated the past four seasons.

duneknight also writes: “but a show like SG-1 never was supposed to have an ending. but you’ll tell me the two shows are very different…”

Answer: They were different in that we received word of the Atlantis cancellation late whereas we received word of the SG-1 cancellation early enough to prepare a proper series finale.  Unending was written to cap the series but leave the door open for future adventures.  Had we had time to prepare, we would have probably done something similar with Atlantis although, in retrospect, having Atlantis return to Earth was an interesting way to end the show.  Going the Dallas route would’ve been good too.

Thornyrose writes: “Would it help to think that “In Japan, you were interesting” really means “over there, you were entertaining in the way that a clumsy but amusing dimwit is?”.”

Answer: No doubt.  Back in Tokyo, I was as delightful as a small child playing a ukulele.

Thornyrose also writes: “So, if not the writing, what, besides the paycheck, makes one stay in such a career?”

Answer: Hey, I’m not complaining, simply expressing my frustration.  I realize how fortunate I am to be doing what I’m doing; also very lucky to be working with some great people (which, to answer your question, is probably the best thing about this job).

Sparrow_hawk writes: “Are you planning to work on reading as well as conversational Japanese?”

Answer: I’ve been told I should.  There are only some 50 characters to learn and being able to read them would certainly make my future Tokyo experiences that much simpler.  On the other hand, not enough can be said about asking a cute Tokyoite to translate something for you.

Jmanzione writes: “I simply have to ask. You don’t need to answer of course, but your explanation would go a long way toward satisfying my, and many others, curiosity…”

Answer: Great question.  In fact, there is more than one seeder ship  - there are several, far ahead of Destiny, seeding galaxies with stargates to allow for future exploration.  Hope that clears things up.

Michael A. Burstein writes: “Isaac Asimov always said that he enjoyed writing, and I knew him in passing, so I knew at least one writer who enjoyed writing. In fact, he and his wife even wrote a book called “How to Enjoy Writing.””

Answer: I should pick it up.  Does it come with a complimentary bottle of absinthe?

Cryaonbaby writes: “You feel OK about the writing once it’s on the screen though, don’t you? Didn’t Cannell write/produce the A-Team among other things?”

Answer: Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t.  And, yes, the incredibly prolific Stephen J. Cannell has written and produced hundreds of hours of television including The Rockford Files, The Greatest American Hero, and, yes, The A-Team.

LoveStargateUniverse writes: “Why since season eight of SG-1 has each season had 20 episodes instead of 22?”

Answer: It was a network request to have the series fall in line with most other series orders.

Tammy Dixon writes: “Have you tried Rosetta stone for Japanese Mr. M.?”

Answer: I’ve been using something similar – Pimsleur – and loved it.  I’m just disappointed that only 3 levels are available.

Iamza writes: “I hope you (all) get enough notice to put your series finale into play in a way that makes sense. I mean, SGU seems to be relying more on storylines that go over several episodes, so I imagine the finale will need a bit of setting up prior to that final hour/two hour story?”

Answer: The finale will pay off all that has come before.

Poundpuppy29 writes: “Hey Joe just a quick question in the third SG-1 movie do we at least find out why there is no Vala…”

Answer: I’ve yet to read Brad’s rewrite, so I’m not sure if there is a direct reference to Vala’s absence.  She was a great character to write for.

Shadow Step writes: “How about writing scripts in Japan?”

Answer: I want to write and produce Assault Girls II.  Hook me up.

Shiningwit writes: “Hey Joe, would you be so good as to dedicate Friday’s blog to Suzie’sbluefeather please? its her birthday.”

Answer: No problem.  Just do me a favor and remind me tomorrow.

 
 
17 Декабрь 2009 @ 06:53

I’ll admit to being a little bummed since my return to cold, rainy, overcast Vancouver.  I must now come to terms with the fact that the excitement of those two weeks in Tokyo are, sadly, behind me, along with the infectious energy of the city itself, its fine restaurants, and the many wonderful friends I made while I was there.  So I was sitting in the office, moping yesterday, when my writing partner, Paul, helpfully put it into perspective for me: “In Japan, you were interesting.  Here, not so much.”.

Oh, hey, speaking of Japan, there was one more surprise in the Tuesday line-up I failed to mention.  Sitting in my mailbox was a postcard from Hideki Ishikawa, chef and owner of Michelin 3 star Ishikawa in Tokyo which I visited and wrote about here: http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/2009/12/01/december-1-2009-tokyo-travel-day-7-gordon-ramsay-mo-shibuya-stroll-ishikawa-and-i-mean-it-this-time/ while in town.  Among the many highlights of my meal there was Ishikawa-san’s presence.  Despite the fact that we were dining in a private room while he was in the main room seeing to a dozen other hungry guests, he made it a point to come by every so often to see how we were doing, discuss my travels and interest in Japanese cuisine, and even see us off at night’s end, standing curbside and waving as we motored off in our taxi.  An incredibly genial and humble man.  In the postcard, he thanks me for visiting the restaurant and for the kindness I showed him (it was really the other way around).  He hopes I enjoyed the dinner and my Japan trip and looks forward to seeing me again in November 2010.  Which he most definitely will!

No progress on the script front.  In fact, I re-read the eighteen pages I have so far and hated it.  Carl, who is having an equally tough time, told me about an interview he read with David Chase in which The Sopranos creator revealed that, in his many years working on television, he had met only one writer who actually enjoyed writing – and that was Stephen J. Cannell.  I’ve never met Stephen J. Cannell, so I’ve met none.

On the bright side, we did do some more spinning and, thanks to Brad and Rob’s frenzied back-and-forth, have worked out the series finale.  Yep, it’s true.  We have a definite ending for this grand adventure – but it’s one we wont’ be getting around to for a while.

Today, Visual Effects Supervisor Mark Savela was in to show us temp shots for Pain, Incursion I, and Incursion II.  Let’s just say that those of you yearning for space-faring action are in for a treat.

Apologies for the late blog entry.  I was at dinner with one of my Tokyo friends – Angela the flight attendant – who is in town on a lengthy lay-over.

And, hey, I think I’ve found myself a Japanese tutor, someone with whom I can finally practice my Japanese conversation – which means I’ll no longer have to frequent Japanese restaurants just to badger the waitresses for chitchat.

 
 
16 Декабрь 2009 @ 05:52

Right.  So I’m in the office today, pacing about as I’m talking on my cell phone, when I notice that one of the Spiderman Supervillain busts sitting by the window isn’t facing forward.  For some reason, The Lizard has been turned away to face the wall.  What gives?  I turn turn it around to face front and only then do I realize why it was facing back – “someone” chipped off the tip of his tongue and somehow assumed they could cover their tracks by delaying its discovery.  Of course, there’s no doubt as to the “someone” responsible.  It was the same “someone” who broke the crystal skull prop sitting in Paul’s office and then set it back on its pedestal as if nothing was amiss.  The same person who broke Carl’s favorite humpy dog memory stick!  The same same “someone” who broke a glass in Lawren’s office and sought to cover it up by throwing it away in the garbage can at the far end of the hall.  No, I’m not referring to those wild gals in accounting.  I’m talking about the hands-of-stone Bridge Studios cleaning crew.  I mean, come on.  If you break something, at the very least leave a post-it of apology.  Not these oafs.  Not only are they incredibly clumsy, but they’re dishonest to boot.  And, judging by the half-ass manner in which they sought to hide their incompetence, you can feel free to add moronic to the list.  I just learned that, to combat the problem, Lawren has taken to putting a “DO NOT CLEAN” sign on his office door.  Hmmmm.  That’s one way of ensuring these klutzes don’t cause anymore damage.  Another way also comes to mind…

That was just one of today’s many surprises.  Happily, the rest were somewhat more positive.  I received a bunch of great-looking books from the gang at PYR including..

This one.

This one.

And this one.

I have Mark Chadbourn’s terrific-looking Age of Misrule series sitting on my book shelf, patiently waiting for me to get around to it.  I read, and quite enjoyed, Joel Shepherd’s Crossover, the first book in yet another series I want to get around to finishing.  And then there’s SF and Fantasy veteran Mike Resnick, yet another author I’ve had in my sights for a while.  So many choices.  Unfortunately, I haven’t been reading as voraciously as I usually do.  I brought two books with me to Japan and I only got around to reading the first 200 pages of one (a mere fifth of the whole).  And my evenings since my return have proven a bit tricky given that I’m thoroughly exhausted by 11:00 and asleep by 11:30.  Although, I usually do wake up for a couple of hours between 2:00 and 4:00, so maybe I should consider this prime reading time.

Later, Exec. Producer Brad Wright gifted me the following book…

He read the book, LOVED IT, and has since been purchasing copies for friends.  Apparently, there’s only one word in the beautifully illustrated book.  So, what do you think?  A potential book of the month club pick?

Yet another surprise in the form of Robert Cooper’s first draft of Aftermath.  All I can say is “Whoa!  Did NOT see THAT coming!”

And one more surprise with the impromptu appearance of former Stargate script coordinator (and present staff writer on The Border) Alex Levine who is now living in Toronto but is in town for the new few weeks.  In honor of Alex, we will all hit ReFuel for a vertable feast that included spicy pork ribs, crispy squid, lemon risotto, ox tongue, charcuterie, buttermillk fried chicken, crispy confit duck, dry aged beef burger, potato gnocchi, vanilla creme brulee, peanut and chocolate parfait, cheesecake, and apple & pear crostada.  Totemo oishikatta!

Thinking ahead to dessert of course.

Ivon stikes his patented "dreamy" pose.

Hey, Lawren - where's that script?

Carl all smiles. Of course! He's eating crispy duck tonight!

Rob's "You take one more picture..." look.

Paul, stuffed, and already thinking about his bedtime.

While Alex wonders "What's next?"

Me and Ivon. Surprisingly, sober.

Finally – Hey, don’t forget to get your questions and comments in for author Lawrence Watt-Evans!

 
 

Valder is a scout for the Esthshar army in its centuries old war with dark forces of the Northern Empire and, when we are first introduced to our hero, it is clear he isn’t having the best of days.  Having stumbled upon a bold enemy assault force, he is determined to return to his comrades and warn them of an impending surprise attack.  Unfortunately, complicating matters for Valder are three equally determined enemy soldiers, in hot pursuit and closing fast.  The chase ends at the modest home of an elderly wizard who expresses his dismay at getting caught up in the action – right before they are attacked and his house burnt to the ground.  But thankfully, the wizard is as clever as he is outraged, using magical means to convince their attackers that they have been killed.  Safe and sound and presumed dead, Valder and the wizard part company, but not before the magician enchants Valder’s sword with powers he can’t quite fathom – until much later when, out on his own, he draws the sword and finds himself unable to either release it until…it claims the life of an enemy warrior.

It quickly becomes apparent that the magical enchantment placed on the sword was, in fact, a misenchantment.  Every time the blade is drawn, it can only be sheathed once it has killed.  And killing is something it does quite well, imbuing its wielder with remarkable sword skills in addition to bestowing him with immortality so long as the spell lasts.  And, here’s the catch, the spell will last until 100 enemy lives are taken – at which point the sword will turn on its owner and slay him in turn.

What follows is a delightfully atypical fantasy tale in which character and humor trump epic heroic journey.  Our protagonist isn’t interested in saving his lands from the evil enemy.  Rather, first things first, he wants to be rid of the damn sword.  But when that proves impossible (no one else can wield the blade and it will always return to him despite his attempts to “lose” it), he seeks to make the best of things.  But making the best of things run counter to the wishes of his commanding officers who decide to advantage of Valder’s amazing abilities by making him an assassin in their service.  All well and good except for the fact that Valder aint your average hero.  He doesn’t enjoy killing, doesn’t like to risk his life, and wants nothing more than to retire from battle and enjoy a nice, quiet retirement.  His attitude, and his ensuing actions, make for a refreshingly unique take on the genre.  The focus isn’t on the sword slaying (in fact, at one point in the book, we simply skip ahead, time cutting to a tally of the ballooning body count) but on Valder himself, tracing his career as a reluctant assassin to his late-life career as a simple innkeeper.  In the background, meanwhile, the generations-long war reaches an off-stage conclusion when the forces of Esthshar, represented by benign gods, do battle with the demonic champions of the Northern Empire in a grand climactic battle that destroys half the kingdom – and is relayed to Valder in a matter-of-fact “Oh, by the way, you won’t believe happened” manner.  My initial reaction was “Huh?  Really?”   And even though it was an odd and surprisingly underwhelming development, I still loved it for just those very reasons.  It’s as if the author said “THAT isn’t what this story is about anyway.  But if you’re interested…”.

Even though I found the novel wrapped up a little too conveniently, I nevertheless enjoyed the journey.  The Misenchanted Sword was an immensely enjoyable read.

So, those were my initial thoughts.  What did everyone else think?  Weigh in with your thoughts and start submitting your comments for author Lawrence Watt-Evans!

Ah, you’ve heard I see.  Yes, it’s official.  Stargate: Universe has been picked up for a second season.  And do you know what this means?  Yes, that’s right.  I have to finish that script.  My favorite response to the announcement comes from the comments section of Robert Seidman’s TVbytheNumbers’ piece (http://tvbythenumbers.com/2009/12/13/stargate-sgu-renewed-sanctuary-too/36110) where someone called hdtv1 writes: “This crap must be cancelled.  sgu writer’s are idoit.”  Well said, sir.

We were back in the office today where the discussion ranged from Robert Cooper’s finished first draft of Aftermath to my lovely Tokyo dining companions.  Tomorrow, we actually start breaking more stories!

And finally, editor Lou Anders left the following message in yesterday’s comments section with regard to the upcoming With Great Power superhero anthology:

“WITH GREAT POWER is coming out from Pocket Books in July 20, 2010. I’ll be able to announce the cover artist soon, who is someone familiar to readers of Marvel comics. The book is already available for preorders on Amazon, and based on the comparative buys it looks like the Stargate crowd has already found it!

http://www.amazon.com/Great-Power/dp/1439168822/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260803006&sr=8-1

Mailbag:

Matt R. writes: “1) Is the Apple Core the official bridge on Destiny or some type of relay station? Will we be seeing the actual bridge some time?

2) In Atlantis many of the scenes shot inside the city were on or around cat walks or just plain hallways. Is that going to change of SGU? Any chance of seeing some “great halls” large finished rooms like we did in “Air”?

3) Who is responsiable for the Kino shorts? “

Answers: 1) The Apple Core will be the “substitute” bridge until a time when the actual bridge is discovered – whenever that may be.  Stay tuned.

2) Very possibly.  Again, stay tuned.

3) The kino segments were written by the writing staff and directed by Ivon. R Bartok.

Wade writes: “But in SG-1, I was sure there was an episode or two where someone entered a closing wormhole and didn’t make it.”

Answer: The scene that comes to mind is Teal’c’s tug-o-war with the replicator in SG-1’s Gemini.  In that instant, the replicator “gave up” its arm and the puddle shut down.

Major D. Davis writes: “When will Major Davis be in SGU?”

Answer: No plans to see him on the show as of yet.

David writes: “I also was not sure how to address questions to the mailbag and I’m not sure if this was brought up before but I wanted to your attention and error regarding the rank of Ronald Greer.”

Answer: Thanks, David.  I’ll pass this along.

ilikecakes writes: “also, looking for a vancouver restaurant with good non-chocolate desserts (though i know you hate fruit); any recommendations?”

Answer: I had a pretty darn good pear pie with sour cream ice cream at Re-Fuel last night (no kidding).  Also, Cin Cin on Robson has always had pretty good desserts.

Michael writes: “How did the idea of stranding Rush on the planet at the end of “Justice” come about in the writer’s room or was it a single writer’s pitch to the group?”

Answer: The idea was pitched in the writers’ room by either Brad or Robert (I can’t remember which).

Kevin L. writes: “Why were some of the names changed?”

Answer: Usually because there is actually someone out there with that same name.

Shaggygirl writes: “So just how much weight did you gain in Japan? Back on the diet?”

Answer: I actually lost three pounds and shaved off 1% off my total body weight.  And, yes, I’m back on the regimen.

Simon writes: “2) Is it true the second half of season 1 will have less focus on the stones?

3) Speaking of the second half of season 1, I know you probably won’t know the answer to this. Are channles like Sky1 in the UK and Space over in Canada getting the second half before SyFy?”

Answers: 2) Not so much less focus as a “re” focus.

3) No, the back half of the season will premiere on SyFy first.

GrapesofWraith writes: “Have you had any cravings for cod sperm since you’ve been back?”

Answer: Believe it or not – no.

MaggieW writes: “Is there still no news about the Stargate Extinction? “

Answer: Alas, still no news.  But to those wondering how the heck the authorities can manage to keep the city hidden away in San Francisco Bay – the movie will reveal that Atlantis has been conveniently “relocated”.

Tanie writes: “do your fur kids ever go into work with you?”

Answer: Rarely.  They’re a bit of a distraction.

Tagged: Lawrence Watt-Evans, The Misenchanted Sword

 
 

So, I’ve been following this whole Tiger Woods debacle and, despite all of the increasingly sordid details that have emerged, I’ve remained unfazed.  Until today,that is, when I read something truly shocking about the guy and, if true, will forever tarnish him in my eyes.  According to one of the gals he dated, Tiger NEVER TIPPED!  Sure, allegedly cheating on your wife with scores of young women demonstrates highly debatable judgment, but regularly stiffing a hardworking wait staff points to a far more heinous, deep-rooted character flaw.  Sure, the suggestions of philandering are embarrassing, but THIS!  THIS is damning.  Come on, Tiger.  The people serving you make minimum wage and depend on those gratuities (and, in most cases, are taxed on them regardless of whether they receive them or not).  Why be such a cheapskate when, obviously, you can afford NOT to be.

And that little revelation led me to this fascinating article: “34 Notoriously Bad Celebrity Tippers”: http://www.glamorati.com/celebrity/2008/34-notoriously-bad-celebrity-tippers/.  Very interesting.  And, in many instances, not all that surprising.  I mean, who can say they were shocked to discover that “There are lots of instances of Sean Penn stiffing waitstaff” or that Britney Spears once “tipped a valet by dropping change on the ground and telling him “there’s your tip”.”  But Rupert Everett?  Michael Moore?  Tobey Maguire?!  Shameful.  Truly shameful.

Awww crap.  It’s snowing today.  And me without my winter tires.  The drive in to work tomorrow should be all sorts of fun.

Now, come on, what gives?  Since returning to Vancouver, I’ve eaten at two Japanese restaurants, not because I was craving Japanese food but because I wanted to practice my Japanese – only the waitresses insist on speaking to me in broken English.  Iradatashii!

At the request of blog regular Susan the Tartan Turtle, I give you some pics of the pooches..

Brie

Jelly

Maximus

Lulu

Bubba

Mailbag:

Cat writes: “As an experienced world traveller, how do you deal with the jet lag?”

Answer: The key is to force yourself to adapt.  Melatonin also helps.  I would take some every night and it would put me right out (but, unfortunately, didn’t keep me out).  In the past, adjusting to the time shift in Tokyo isn’t too bad.  You end up going to sleep late (10:00 ish) and waking up early.  Returning home is usually the problem.  On this trip, I’ve had trouble on both ends – sleeping fitfully throughout.

Thornyrose writes: “As far as Stargate talk, I was wondering about your thoughts on the last aired episode, given it is the midseason cliffhanger. Any enlightening tidbits about the episode’s production?”

Answer: Enlightening tidbits?  Hmmm.  Not sure.  I remember we all discussed the story in the writing room and Alan was assigned the task of writing the script.  He turned in a solid first draft, then Paul did his pass, then Brad did his polish.  By the time all was said and done, it was a very tight script.

Mel writes: “Unfortunately the +7 time shift numbers did not save Atlantis.”

Answer: Realistically, however, Atlantis was in the fifth year of its run and pulling in a lower average, especially among key demos.

Dasndanger writes: “Whose teapot collection?”

Answer: Not mine.

Teal’c_P.I. writes: “First of all, both myself and my Aloe Vera-drinking friend are curious as to exactly how many pairs of cuff links you have. If you have a moment in between your writing, could you quickly count them for us, please?”

Answer: Roughly thirty pairs.  Most of my shirts are french-cuffed.

Teal’c_P.I. also writes: “So if you can, could you please just tell me: why was Atlantis cancelled? Was it a unanimous decision or a question of ratings?”

Answer: Unfortunately, I don’t have an answer for you.  When we received news of the cancellation, we were surprised to say the least.  Granted, one could argue that the ratings for the show had slipped since its second season, but there was no denying the numbers had actually improved in season five.  From a creative standpoint, we still had stories to tell and the writers’ room was confident we would be back.  But what did we know.

AV Eddy writes: “So I saw the latest video of asparagus juice. Not good bud. Almost half the drinkers from the high are gone…”

Answer: You made me laugh.

Sis writes: “I have almost completed my Christmas shopping for you; I have bought Mom’s presents for you and Lili’s presents for you.”

Answer: What am I getting you guys?

Beaudacious writes: “I tryed putting the wesite I got the info from but I guess the blog has url’s blocked or something.”

Answer: Nope, your post went directly to spam – as do most comments containing links.  But fear not.  In addition to reading and approving all comments, I always make it a point to check the spam folder as well.  So, your original post has been saved.  Thanks for the info.  Food for thought.  Sounds like my best bet is to marry a Japanese national first.

Marsha_R writes: “Blog reader membership dues? Oops. Can I pay mine in corn tamales?”

Answer: Yes, you may!

TBA writes: “- Are there any new writers on board for season 2?

- Any changes in the tone/style/storytelling/main cast?

- I’m still hoping that the Trust or Kinsey pops up again… Any chances on that happening?”

Answer: Yes to the new writers and no to the Trust or Kinsey.  As for tone/style/storytelling/main cast – there are plenty of developments in the back half of the season that will carry over into season two.

Susan the Tartan Turtle writes: “Can we get some doggy pictures to cheer us up? Or to cheer me up!”

Answer: Those were for you.

dodoalda writes: “

1) Could you please confirm or deny that the ship they found in Justice is made by the same race like the one in Air III?

2) Any new world about SGU soundtrack?”

Answer: 1) I can neither confirm nor deny.  But, now that you mention is, they ARE very similar in design.  Hmmmmm.  2) Sorry.  I haven’t heard any word.

Garion55 writes: “Ummm what? Air Part 3 …9-oct-09…2.447 million viewers.  Justice … 4-dec-09… 1.34 million viewers.”

Answer: Um read the whole of my response.  While the overnights may have dropped, time-shifted viewership has, to date, increased significantly, making up for the initial drop.

Garion55 also writes: “talk about ‘justice’. compare that to the the highest ratings any of the shows have gotten.”

Answer: Can’t.  We haven’t received the +7 numbers yet.

Chevron7 writes: “So when is your short story published? Did I tell you I’m now published as well? I co-wrote a journal article and received it in the mail the other week – way cool!”

Answer: Congrats!  ”Downfall” will be published as part of the Lou Anders edited With Great Power superhero anthology…sometime in 2010?  Hey, Lou, what’s the lastest?

Tagged: Celebrity Cheapskates
 
 
 
 

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